Write course.

Yeah, I got no idea what this life thinks of us. I mean, I know that things are supposed to be kind of hard or something, but at times they just get so indescribably “not decipherable“ that you have not a clue of what to do.
The worst of all is that parents did not prepare us for the real hard things, the world they “forged” into us is so weirdly non-existent that I feel that I have to learn everything from zero and can only hold on to my own experience.
Not believing what other people (who are somehow, someway ignorant) say, makes me stronger. I do not want to follow other people’s direction concerning the actual experiences I am supposed to live, and “unleashing” me from that made me feel really free. I used to be a part of certain community which was supposed to bring hope and joy to people, but I learnt that underneath those fake smiles and broken hearts lie grieve, pain and suffering. Grieve, pain and suffering that us - human beings- are supposed to go through openly. Bad things are not bad, good things are not good; at least not always. Every single experience should be considered as an opportunity to grow. Being broken makes us human. There is no such thing as the complete happiness. Life is always hard, and that is just a fact. Nevertheless, that is good because at the end of the day those experiences are the ones that make us the people we are.
I am homosexual, and I used to believe that was not good; I felt I was evil and the devil was in me. Now, I am glad I am gay because if I weren’t I would not have started looking for my own way. I am not sure if God exists, and if he does, I am not sure he is just like the bible says he is. Anyway, I think that is not relevant now. My whole adolescence was a real sad gloom for me. I used to live in a hole, and I was always depressed and thinking the most stupid things. I thought of suicide, and even tried to do it a couple of times without success (well, I was really lucky of not succeeding). Anyway, it was not until I decided to accept myself as I am that I discovered real “satisfaction” about who I really am and about who I wanted to be.
Things are still hard and even more with my Christian family because they are totally against my being gay, but I am optimistic, maybe they will eventually accept me (but if they don’t, it is OK as long as I like me). The greatest motivation now in my life is finding the one who loves me and respects me and achieving my personal goals.
To sum up, I’d like to add that I –as every single person- have strengths and flaws, and they are there to make me grow as an individual. I might not like me the way I am right now, but I truly believe that I am in the right course.